This topic really hits home. As a child and even in my teenage years, our home held quite the arguments. Whether they were heated between Mom & Dad or between say...Dad and myself (or any other combination involving two parents and three children). I could go into detail, but I rather not.
I would however like to talk more about one of the points made in the video above. The one about being calm. Now, as difficult and silly as this point may seem, it's definitely one to consider. While reading and researching through the years I've learned about the brain in the palm of your hand. The idea is when you're flared, you lose access to the thinking part of your brain. The rational. The part that makes sense and understands more of the big picture of what's going on. The part that regulates what's going on. The part you really need access to most often. When you're flared you are running on emotion, you're just running almost like a chicken with its head cut off. This idea comes from Daniel Siegel. Here's a video of him explaining it. He has a much better, more professional way of doing so.
Now, since learning this I've used it quite a few times. Not every single time, I'm not an overachiever. BUT enough times to realize it helps...a lot. TAKE A BREATHER. TAKE A STEP BACK. THINK. Don't just go to war, there are definitely times for that, just not every time. Realize the difference.
Here is a link to the "How to Pick a Fight" as discussed in the video above.
Until Next Time!